🏁 The Piasco
Welcome to my F1 newsletter, on all things non-technical and fun! I'll be sending this out every Monday and as founding readers, I hope you'll help me figure out what you actually want to read.
We’re officially in silly season, which means the rumor mill is working overtime and we get to see what drivers do with their free time. Some are choosing to spend their summer break cosplaying as a farmer, while others are screening calls from their boss, pretending they’re on a yacht in Greece while they put in their two week notice via a public statement. They’re just like us! More on that…
It was the Tweet heard around the world… but did you know this was the culmination of an 8 year rivalry? Let’s dive in:
2014. It starts with Mark Webber. Super contentious relationship with teammate Sebastian Vettel that ended in Webber retiring at the height of his hype, being replaced by fellow Aussie, Daniel Ricciardo
2020. Oscar Piastri joins Alpine Academy. He gets resources to prepare for entering F1, in return for Alpine having dibs on his signing and placement. He’s a pretty hot commodity, winning the Formula 2 championship in his rookie year. Two years roll by with nothing more than him landing reserve driver for Alpine, and his contingency contract expires on 8/1 - giving up Alpine’s right to sign him as a full driver
Sometime in July 2022, Piastri meets with McLaren and inks his pre-contract deal. Since it had looked like Alonso’s contract would be extended again (to both of their chagrin- Alonso’s been vying for a multiyear contract but had been insulted by a stone cold offer of one year extensions), Alpine had begun discussions with Williams to loan out the driver for the next season so it was perfect timing to shop around
July 28. Vettel announces his retirement. His retirement should’ve come as no surprise (the man swore off social media and then just decides to join Instagram a few days before the announcement, 🚩 ) and he’s been vocal about naming Mick Schumacher as his replacement
August 1. Here comes Alonso… Aston Martin announces they’ve secured Alonso for their driver lineup.
Meanwhile, Team Principle Otmar spent the weekend trying to reach Alonso, which he said was impossible because he was “on a boat in the Greek islands somewhere.” After ghosting his boss, Alonso posts this on his story… with a geotag that shows he’s been in Spain the entire time 🤡 :
August 2 . The bombshell tweet from Piastri that cracks into mainstream media and has people Googling him up a storm. Fun fact: Massachusetts googled him the most, which means they either love sports scandals or were the most out of the loop.
Google Trends
Tl;dr: Is Mark Webber a mastermind? He orchestrated Oscar to replace Danny Ric, who replaced him at Red Bull… while screwing over Vettel’s wishes for Mick to take over and Alonso coincidentally was also able to screw Alpine out of their top prospective talent, current and future.
This would’ve been a spicy story by itself, however when you consider that this exact driver poaching, contract legal battle is still ongoing with McLaren and Indycar champ Alex Palou (tbt to a month ago, when they announced him as part of their 2023 lineup)!
Ferrari goes sexy on the cover of GQ magazine
In which Leclerc is described as “prioritized singer in a boy band” Sainz is “more modest and lightly brushed by melancholy”
Lewis’ first pics drop as the face of Maison Valentino’s fall collection
Alongside Zendaya, they’re getting the full barbiecore treatment
Pierre Gasly’s on a short leash as Helmut Marko says there’s no contract exit clause for him
A Mercedes fan faked his own death to scam his way to the Hungarian Grand Prix with a garage tour. Part 1 and part 2.
Belgium Grand Prix (qualifers on 8/27 @10AM EST, race on 8/28 @9AM EST)
The Dutch Grand Prix (qualifers on 9/3 @9AM EST, race on 9/4 @9AM EST)
!!
Enjoyed reading this a lot